Barney's Rampage
by Mystic Dragon2
Summary: Barney is finally driven over the edge!! And he is going to take the world with him!! Who can prevent this dinasaur's chaos?! REALLY FUNNY!!!!! Please read (and review it too) BWAHAHAHA!! O_o


PG-13, so if you are under thirteen, then leave. Oh, who am I kidding? Go ahead, read this. What would I do about it anyway?  
  
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Barney's Rampage  
  
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The little crowd of Barney's followers gathered in a circle. They all held hands, including Barney. They all began to sing.  
  
"I love you, you lo-''  
  
Their song was cut short as Barney broke the circle and charged forward at the person across from him. He took the kids entire head in his mouth, and ripped it off. After he had eaten it, he began to laugh maniacally.  
  
  
  
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"  
  
The remaining kids ran away screaming. He stomped over to a secret cupboard, still laughing. He pulled of a cover, revealing a spiked steel sledgehammer, flame throwers, and bombs. While the kids were making kaleidoscopes and kites, he was making weapons of mass destruction!  
  
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"  
  
But there was other stuff he had to do first.  
  
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The next live television show started. Barney explained that the other kids were sick, so they were going to make get-well card for them.  
  
"First, " Barney said, with a mad glint in his eye. "Get out a hot glue gun. Don't worry, your parents told me it was okay."  
  
So naturally, the dumb ass kids did just that.  
  
"Now," continued Barney, "drizzle it all over your tongue, your head, and body. Don't worry, it doesn't hurt."  
  
He showed them, except he was using clear honey instead of hot glue. To make a long story short, the kids followed his example. They all got burns and were scalded. Barney quickly pretended to be making a paper bag puppet, so the parents had no idea it was him.  
  
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"What the hell are you doing?" the cameraman said angrily. "Kids will hurt themselves!"  
  
"Exactly."  
  
Barney pulled out a flamethrower, brand new from old socks and library books, and toasted the cameraman to ashes.  
  
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"  
  
He raced out of the studio, taking his weapons with him.  
  
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Back in Heidi's house, Heidi and Jessica witnessed the whole thing.  
  
"We must stop him!" cried Heidi.  
  
"Yes, luckily we are mature enough to know it isn't real!" Jessica said, throwing aside Dirty Slut Barbie.  
  
"Yeah, let's go!" Heidi said. She threw Homeless Barbie on the couch, and the two raced out.  
  
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Barbie grabbed his sledgehammer and charged. Building fell to hid attacks, people fled, and screams filled the air as Barney rampaged through the city. Chaos filled the city as he destroyed ad ate people.  
  
"This stops here!" a voice cried. Barney turned to see Jessica and Heidi climb out of a Barbie car. Jessica pulled out Skimpy Outfit Crime Fighting Barbie and G.I. Ken.  
  
A girl named Karen walked by them. Heidi grabbed her, and hurled her at Barney. Heidi grabbed another nearby person, some 7th grader named Holly, and hurled her at Barney as well. Barney was about to eat Holly, when he spat her out.  
  
"My god girl, don't you ever take a damn bath?"  
  
Quickly, Jessica pulled out Barbie's Machine Gun.  
  
"Damn, it's plastic," she said, throwing it aside. It hit the 7th grader Holly in the eye.  
  
"MY EYE!" she cried.  
  
Heidi snuck on over to a car, and began to hot wire it  
  
"That's it," Barney said. He pulled open his suit to reveal thousands of tiny bombs strapped to him. "I will ignite myself, and don't think I won't!"  
  
But before he had a chance, Heidi ran him over with the car, and killed him.  
  
They were cheering, when a gust of wind blew Holly's smell towards them. They started chocking, and ran away trying not to breathe out.  
  
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It turns out that the car lit a fuse on Barney's bombs, so the city was destroyed. But Heidi and Jessica were safe.  
  
Jessica picked up Stripper Barbie, and began playing with it.  
  
Heidi turned on the TV just in time to see Blue's Clues.  
  
"Now, what could Blue want to do with his paw, a chainsaw, and my head?" Steve asked.  
  
"Decapitate you!" the retarded children we never see answered. Before Steve could reply, Blue had chopped off his head.  
  
"Here we go again," Heidi said.  
  
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THE END!!  
  
  
  
I decided that it is fun to take ordinary cartoons, and turn them psycho. BWAHAHA! Expect more 'rampage' stories . . . 


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